Santa’s Reindeer #5: Vixen
Vixen. Her name gives it away, doesn’t it? Look out reindeer boys when Vixen is in heat, and woe be the fellow who doesn’t just go with it when she sets her sights...
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Santa’s Reindeer #4: Comet
Syphilis is no joke. When it turns into neurosyphilis you’ve got some serious problems. The rest of the team has to look out for this old boy. He gets confused, leaves with passing...
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Santa’s Reindeer #3: Prancer
I trust you have seen Top Gun. If you haven’t, you owe it to yourself. Take the day off and go home to watch it. Tell your boss stop riding you. You’ve been...
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Santa’s Reindeer #2: Dancer
Unwilling to admit his sexuality even to himself until adulthood, this one-time shrinking violet bloomed into one of the most flamboyant tropical flowers the North Pole has ever seen. If you could make...
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Santa’s Reindeer #1: Dasher
You know that guy who can say pretty much anything to women, no matter how lewd or overtly sexual, and get away with it? Get away with it?! Man, they love it! You...
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An Exclusive Owl’s Monocle Christmas Countdown!
Renowned author, Clement Clarke Moore (July 15, 1779 – July 10, 1863), first rose to fame with his 1842 biography of Santa Claus, “My Sleigh, My Prison” that never actually saw the light...
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Question: Why are Badgers always so angry?
You know when you’re talking about something and all you are is a little bit excited, but some jackass says, “calm down”? You know how that suddenly pisses you off and you angrily...
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FauxFur is Murder!
It seems that wearing luxurious furs and skins is well and truly taboo now. Gone are the days when a young rapper with an unpronounceable name can sign his first record deal and...
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Question: Can a snake really swallow a whole man live?
Can a snake really swallow a whole man live? Good question, but since snakes vary in size from the very tiny common grass snake to the stupidly huge ones that chase Ice Cube through the...
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Manatees are the original Fail Whales
Manatees are known by many names. Sea Cows, water Zeppelins, “poor man’s walrus”, boat motor stoppers, and “very unsexy mermaids”, are some common monickers. Manatees are this to be sure though: Fail Whales. They...
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